THE SETUP

Well, doesn’t it? Why else did you come to my house? Isn’t “come to my house” the universal code for “Afmag & Chill”? (Who else can still muster sexual drive after Afmagging? You’re the real MVP)

JOY

Couple years ago, my answer would be “Hell no!”, but right now I’m really confused. Because I’ve had a lot of guys who visited me and seemed to naturally want to start pressing me or kissing me or assuring me that no, I shouldn’t worry, they brought enough condoms. So I genuinely don’t know the trend as far as this goes, I mean, is it some socially acceptable thing now? Is there even a formula?

Netflix & chill = Visit & knack

???

So my take is, just know who you’re dealing with, and be careful not to let all kinds of stray things into your house. Also, when someone you’re not sure of is coming over, or you’re going to see someone like that, please have some kind of escape route pre-laid out. Please. Statistics are gotten from actual occurrences.

HAUWA

If a girl thinks every guy she has over wants to have sex, lol..(I really had to laugh) she should simply stop having guys over, there, problem solved. But it does go without saying that if a guy goes to a random girl’s house with the intention of having sex, he needs help. Go to a brothel or just masturbate, you don’t need to expose your ignorance to one more person in the world.

I remember back in school when my guy friends/friend would tell me they were coming over and I’d have to debate of I wanted to put myself through the pain of wearing a bra under my cloth in my own room and I’d just end up happily not wearing one. My point is, girls should learn to be comfortable with a guy around and give them more credit. There are cool guys with self control out there. What every girl infact not just girls but guys as well should know is this: not everyone finds you attractive. We all have a type.

So! Not every guy that comes over wants to have sex.

But I think the question should have been if a guy invites a girl over to his house, does that mean he wants sex? Now this would have been easier to answer.

TONY

Well it depends on our conversation before then because there are occasions where it is what you want but it is not always the case. I am not ruling out any unforeseen circumstances. ‎Wait, the “I” here is a female abi? (just checking)

ENIOLA

LOL! Funny a female is on her way to my house now and I don’t know if it’s going to go down or we’ll just end up playing WHOT. Unless it has been explicitly defined, her coming to your house doesn’t mean she’s declaring open-season on her body. But then, there are some sharp bad guys that’ll make you willingly declare open season. If you’re one of them guys, good for you. If not, take your L in peace.

FATIMAH

HouseNotBrothel, please. I mean, is your house meant for having sex only? Can someone not come over to visit or have drinks or see a movie or discuss some issues with you without you trying to introduce your penis (in)to her?

If I come to your house, and I didn’t explicitly state before coming over that I wanted a diddling session, and I didn’t initiate sex upon arrival at your house, please why do you think it’s okay for you to try and shove your penis into any of my orifices?

If a girl comes to your house, she can come for a million and one reasons, none of which have to be sex. Her presence in your house does not equal consent. She isn’t visiting because she wants it. And if you equate a girl visiting you to consent, then I’m sorry to be the one to inform you, but your mother must have dropped you on your head as a baby. Or, like Tarzan, you were raised by apes.

And the worst part of this is that, for girls, visiting a guy is now a major risk. And when you show some hesitation or give a flat out refusal to the invite, some guys turn to crybabies and start weeping like egbere. “oooh you don’t trust me” “you’re safe at mine, I swear!” “You must think I’m an animal”. Please oh, we are all (higher) animals! And who trust don epp? If I have the slightest reservations about you, well, pele oh, I won’t ever visit you at home, we can all meet at the feet of Jesus someday.

And let’s not forget those horrible, horrible, horrible guys who trick girls into coming to their houses. You’ll agree to meet them at Ozone, Yaba, or at Ikeja bus stop then when you get there they tell you of some tiny emergency that will delay them for the next hour. And because they’re so kind and thoughtful, they don’t want to leave you stranded there, so can you just please take 50naira bike to so and so street. You get there and they try to get their dirty hands on you, and you’ll just be like ‘na me fuck up’ in your mind. If you’ve ever done this shit before, may God punish you.

There are those who pick you up and then suddenly realize they forgot their wallets and plead with you to ‘lets quickly go and pick it at home’. Then it turns out that all they really want to do is off your pant. And the demons who deliberately keep you out till after your curfew or when your school gate gets locked so you’ll have no choice but to sleep over at theirs. You go hang out with them and they swear by their mother’s grave to have you back home/school before the gates are locked. But they suddenly disappear at ten minutes past 11 and show up at five minutes to midnight when its obvious you’ll have to sleep out that night. All of you, yours is a special kind of hell.

And the agents of Lucifer who you’ve had a seemingly mature and sensible conversation with, agreeing that sex and sexual activity is totally off the table and that if you ever visit, it’s purely to bless them with the awesomeness of your company. But when you get there, they start trying to steal kisses and cop a feel of your boobs and/or start waving their dick in your face.

Then you’ll complain and they’ll ask ‘how old are you again?’ sorry oh, uncle Dobodoski, we didn’t know that being above 21 is automatic consent to every asshole that has a dick. We didn’t know that our legs must open sesame on autopilot.

Please and please and please, this is 2016, if a girl comes to your house, it is not an agreement to have sex. Don’t be an uncontrollable animal governed by his penis; the brain is another organ you should try to use more often, coming to your house does not mean she wants sex. Stop trying to acquaint your dick with every girl. Thanks and God bless.

BIODUN

Not at all. I always like to be clear on where I am with any female, so if you’re going to be my main course then I’ll definitely have explicitly discussed with you beforehand. I might get dissed for lacking spontaneity, but that sure beats being tagged as a rapist.


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