THE SETUP

These are some of the world’s great mysteries:

  • Did Thunder Balogun really kill his brother with his dangerous left foot?
  • Did Nigeria really beat India at football by losing 99-1?
  • Was it really an apple Adam ate?
  • Are they actually after you, or is that your mind playing games on you?
  • What does a woman really want?

Today’s matter may appear straightforward enough, but it is really one of the world’s greatest mysteries. No appears to mean a variety of things: no, yes-no, no-yes, and strangely enough, yes. Or does it?

THE FORMATION

Mobi

Nimide

Tony

Joy

Hauwa

Fatimah

Eniola

Biodun

MOBI

Short answer – When she says no, duh.

Long answer – We are humans and interactions with one another since the beginning of time has taught us a thing or two about reading body language and picking up social cues.

Now, issues of consensual or otherwise sexual relations do not really fit into this mold and we have seen numerous examples of people going to prison because one child of Lucifer (I won’t even bother to link any article; just do an on-line search and see for yourself) decided to claim rape where there was none. My advice is to always get verbal consent before proceeding to do the do. If she says or even implies no, just jejely excuse yourself. Easier said than done, I know.

There is a scene in The Big Bang Theory (the best show ever btw) where Sheldon and Amy are about to get it on and he proceeds to draw up a contract before they begin. Of course, she stopped him but it doesn’t hurt to proceed with such caution in these matters. Better to be seen as a dork than to be in the dock. I know; I’m awesome :).

NIMIDE

When she says the No and acts the No. There’s no beating around the bush about this.

TONY

What? *reads question again* LMAO. Had a friend who admired a certain dude. Dude realized and asked her out. She said “no”. He moved on. She complained saying he didn’t even try again despite her initial “no”. *confused face*. It varies from girl to girl. Her “no” could mean “I want you try again” on some occasions and outright “no” on some. Seeing that they are special *coughs*, it is hard to tell. Anyone who can help us with a mechanism for finding out should please share.

JOY

When’s a girl’s no really her no?

When she says it! I think actions and words usually go together; even if someone is silent about something, but cringes or gets defensive when you bring it up, you should know that it’s a big fat “No”. And come on. If there’s ever any doubt, just talk about it. Ask.

HAUWA

No is No. We human beings just like to twist things to suit us when necessary. How can I say NO and all you can pick in that is YES. How? Seriously, How?? A girl’s no is no.

Am I sad? Yes. If he asks me, I’ll most likely say no.  (And that is because I don’t want to share what’s bothering me not because I need you to ask me a million times more.)

He says: We aren’t doing anything, been a while we had sex. Should we? No. ( I’d rather stalk pages on Instagram. It’s not because I’m mad at you or anything I just really don’t want to have sex. If you like fondle my breast from now till eternity. No is No. Girls have more self-control than guys anyway.)

Or a guy I don’t like asks me on a date and I say no,  (Don’t ask me over and over again or I’ll start avoiding you. It’s a two-letter word, it can’t magically turn into three.)

The only downside to the way over 50% of girls say NO is the fact that it has an explanation to it which she would rather give you than actually say the 2 letter word. It’s called being nice.

FATIMA

Lol. According to my dictionary, no means ‘not any possibility or allowance of (doing something), so unless your dictionary defines it as ‘a word used to show agreement or acceptance’, then at every point in time, no means no.

Only a fool knows everything, so please don’t be stupid by assuming that you know the mind of every girl and her no always means a yes. The fact that one or two girls said no while they meant to say yes doesn’t mean all girls are like that, please exercise common sense and understand that no is no.

Now on the occasion that she’s saying no, but you’re getting the vibes that she may actually mean yes, ask her again. Ask her as many times you need to, so as to be sure of her answer, if she actually meant to say yes, then she will. But if she doesn’t, well, no is no so just chop your L and drink water on top.

Not every girl likes to play the coy mistress, a lot of us say yes when we want something, and say no when we don’t. So if a girl says no, better believe that her no is no, because you’re not a mind reader and you can’t answer her questions for her.

ENIOLA

Only a girl knows when her No is a No. And when it’s really a No, the guy would also know unless he just wants to unlook. But for me, whether she means the No or not, it’s always a No for me. No time.

BIODUN

This is a tough one. Sometimes even the girls themselves don’t know when their no is a no (you can argue all you want). The average Nigerian guy is raised with the belief that women say no when they mean yes or when they want to test your persistence and the average Nigerian girl makes it hard to disprove this myth (Lagos babes especially).  As it is, a no to me means exactly that, a signal for me to stand down. The ocean is never empty of willing fish.

You too can join the conversation!

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