THE SETUP

We’ve seen houses trashed. We’ve seen entire sordid histories washed out of the linen. We’ve seen severe beatings (not that we condone beating). There’s that great Jasmine Sullivan song.

And there’s Taylor Swift’s entire discography. How far can you go?

THE FORMATION

Tony

Biodun

Rachael

Joy

Hauwa

Eniola

Taiwo

TONY

Meeeeeeeeeeeehn!!!!!!! I destroy things. I am really a threat to peace and stability when I am offended by anyone. I am like The Hulk. The only word I understand at such moments is ‘SMASH’. Just kidding.

To be honest, the worst I can do is exchange words and just step. And depending on how annoying what was done is, I could cut off such a person. Peace of mind is paramount.

BIODUN

Truth be told, I’m not one to lose my cool that much. Life is short enough without one bursting an artery out of anger. I’d rather just let such people out of my space rather than do anything stupid. That doesn’t mean if I get pushed hard enough I can’t drop some rat poison in your food, though, just saying.

RACHAEL

The extent should depend on the gravity of the offence and although some men do deserve you coming at them with the entire X-Men squad; I would say don’t commit a crime and don’t do to him what you don’t want to be done to you. Then, you’re good.

JOY

I’m personally not very good at handling anger…or feelings, really. I can honestly say I don’t know. My reaction could fluctuate between super calm and batshit crazy.

HAUWA

The Silent Treatment. There should be a book on this. ‘How to give your partner the silent treatment till s/he begs for forgiveness’. That has always been my go-to method of dealing with anger, never gone less or farther than that. Nobody likes a drama queen…well, there are always exceptions to everything.

But what can someone you claim to love do to you that will make you want to teach them a lesson? Someone said if she hurts my parents, I’ll kill her. Lool, Oga has watched too many movies. Like how does being in a relationship one minute and hurting your parents in the other even relate? So, she’ll find out where your parents live then plot how she’ll hurt them?

I remember my friend said if her boyfriend starts double dating, she’ll find out who the girl is, let her know her boyfriend is a two-timing slimy bastard, then let him know what she did and break up with him.

Some people can be very savage in reacting when they’re hurt. There are people who believe that the extent of their anger towards their partner shows the intensity of their love.

joker

ENIOLA

Well, it depends on the kind of offence… the highest I can do is to just move on… no time.

TAIWO

A day to Easter this year, news circulated around the world about a UK Muslim shopkeeper, Asad Shah, who was stabbed to death by “an unknown person” who took offence over his [Asad’s] goodwill Easter message to Christians on social media (I hear someone has been caught for the crime now). Asad was a man who got killed for a message anyone shouldn’t take offence at. He found out too late.

An offence, a feeling of being wronged brought about by a perceived insult to one’s person, is usually determined by the person who is supposedly wronged. Hence, the perception aspect of it. Sometimes an offence could be about breaking a law but that’s not the concern here. In Mr Asad’s case, he, like anyone with a moral inclination, wasn’t aware someone unknown to him would pick offence at his innocent good wishes.

As humans, we are forever plagued by our insatiable nature so much so that no matter how much we try, we cannot please everybody. As such, there will always be room for perceived wrong, whether the people who committed the wrong know that they have or not. Sometimes we pick offence where there’s none implied but that’s human nature.

Personally, I’m for letting people know they wronged me when I feel I have been wronged. However, it also depends on the wrong. Some wrongs require forgiving the wrongdoer and continuing with our usual camaraderie without letting some bad blood into the mix (depending on the relationship with the person). For some others, I have found myself cutting off the offender especially when I know no matter how many I-forgive-yous get tossed around, the hurt or scar from the wrong remains. But this is usually after I tell the person they wronged me. In yet a few, I forgive the offender and limit my association with such person.

In all, I forgive the wrong even when it’s not the easiest thing to do, and let the nature of the offence decide my next action. No matter the decision, it is never retaliation, mutilation, murder or bad wishes.

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