THE SETUP

It’s a sticky point, a head-scratcher, a conundrum, a Gordian knot, a really strong bone of contention, a tough question. You might have heard some folks say somebody’s stroke game is lamer than a Vic O verse. The clapback is usually swift, in which case you might have heard other folks say things like somebody lay there like a plank, that in the middle of it they were thinking of saws and clamps and planes, since what we’re here to do is make furniture. So, is this another good old example of perpetuating gender stereotypes? Must he always do? Does she only take? Whose responsibility is it to make sure both parties whoop, pant, holler and make tacky faces at the end of it all? Him, her, them, no one?

THE FORMATION

Jumoke

Jumoke

Eniola

Eniola

Taiwo

Taiwo

Rachael

Rachael

Biodun

Biodun

Fatimah

Fatimah

Hauwa

Hauwa

Niyi

Niyi

JUMOKE

Yup. Stereotypical gender roles always find their way into the bedroom. I mean, the guy does the chasing and quite often, the seducing too so he should be responsible for the orgasms. That’s how some girls think.

But I think that it’s the responsibility of both parties to guarantee great sex. I mean, if we’re going to have sex, we might as well make it an experience to remember.

I find girls that lie there and then complain afterwards about how they didn’t cum tedious. Boys will always cum no matter what, it’s your own orgasm at stake here, step up and make it good for you.

ENIOLA

I don’t know for them oooo! Then they’ll label the guy as being whack. For every action, there must be an equal and opposite reaction. You can’t just lie down and expect orgasms to come visiting. “Ise logun ise.”

TAIWO

I think it is a stereotype that this society has pushed for centuries that a woman should accept whatever the man gives. She shouldn’t make demands especially when it comes to sex. That could explain why she would just lay there like a plank. Sometimes, though, especially in the case of a first lay, the guy makes all the moves while the girl just lets him do all the work because “let it not look like I’m loose”. However, the days when girls are quiet about sex, during sex and about their sexual experiences are slowly fading out.

I think orgasm is something both partners owe each other. If your girl doesn’t know to move during sex, it is not just on her. It’s on the guy too for letting her think she can just lay there and let him do all the work. You both want orgasms, you both should have to work for it. Hence, communicate.

RACHAEL

Some girls think great sex is the man’s responsibility because we have been taught to keep ourselves chaste and pure for our future husbands while the men should be allowed to sample every chick they can find. Hence, the man should get all the experience while the woman lays in wait at home. Also, they say if you show too many skills, these boys will ask how you got to know it all.

On a serious note, though, great sex is up to both parties. They should both be willing to explore and please each other.

BIODUN

Women blame the patriarchy for a lot of stuff and conveniently forget to mention things like this one. It’s the same way boys are expected to make the first move when starting out relationships, be supermen and nurture relationships and when it comes to it, even initiate sexual activity.

Keeping a relationship is the responsibility of the two people involved, as is ensuring that the sex is off the charts. A girl shouldn’t believe her bit is just to lie down there like a log of wet wood expecting fire from my masculine source. She should know that she’s supposed to bring along some heat to the cookout as well. So many women spend their lives these days fighting for the equality of the sexes, so why not go all the way in all areas?

Give it to me mami, show me what you got anytime we’re in the sack (or in the car, or in the kitchen, or the bathroom, or… you get the drift). Two SHOULD always be involved in the love play. Throw it back when I push up on it, be the ying to my yang anytime we kpansh and the sex will definitely register on the Richter scale. Don’t just say what a man can do a woman can, show me!

FATIMAH

Well, it is the responsibility of both parties. But maybe because a lot of times, boys are the ones who initiate it, a large chunk of it falls on them. After scheming, begging, lying or conniving your way into her pata, the least you can do is give her multiple Os.

Jokes apart, it is up to both parties to make it great, but if one person is slacking, then the equation is unbalanced and the result will be below average.

HAUWA

Lol. Is it not? Maybe it’s because we’re the ones being plunged? But seriously, not all girls have this opinion. There are girls who are way freakier than a guy in bed. It’s all about sexual preference and how easy or tasking it is for you to be sexually satisfied anyway. If it takes more than a woman lying like a log of wood to satisfy you, find the one God has made to do all the freaky things you want or get the consent of the one you have, to do them to you. I saw a tweet a few days ago where the lady said until she can feel the hairy part of a guy’s penis she would not be satisfied with the head she has given. That’s her preference and so far it seems to be working for her. Just like there are ladies who still blatantly refuse to even smell it.

Also, there are guys who will eat a lady out till she can walk on air and guys who will say it’s disgusting.

All I’m trying to say is, not all girls feel it’s a man’s responsibility, after all, both parties want the same thing in the end. But I think a man should be able to do some heavy lifting, abi?

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NIYI

I have two theories for this:

Our patriarchal society. You know, a man is believed to be the boss. He should provide for the girl, both materially, emotionally, and, of course, sexually. It is his duty to satisfy.

Okay, I have just one theory.

Thankfully, though, our females are coming to the realisation that, as our people say, when the two parties work together, satisfaction is optimal. Or optimum. You know what I mean. Two heads are better than one. Literally. Hehehe.

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