THE SETUP

How much is too much body count? 2, 10, 20, 200? Does it even matter?

THE FORMATION

Niyi

Niyi

Biodun

Biodun

Taiwo

Tony

Jumoke

Jumoke

Spencer

Spencer

Hauwa

Hauwa

Rachael

Rachael

Eniola

Eniola

NIYI

This one, a year ago, I would have puffed my chest out in all royal I-know-everything fashion and declared BODY COUNT DOESN’T MATTER! Sadly, my people, it does. Sadly.

I recently came across a hottie with an insane amount of body count. I’m talking hundreds here. After a brief self-examination, wondering why I was fesefaleing, I admitted to myself I just wasn’t cool with such level of adventurousness. It’s sad, I know. But we are who we are, and I guess some things are just too much.

BIODUN

Serial killers, morgue attendants and snipers are the only people allowed to body count in my books. If you’re not any of these three then what the hell are you counting bodies for? Why in God’s name would I concern myself with how many people an adult has slept with? Do I even know how many people I have slept with? Am I supposed to cut notches on my wall after each sexual encounter? Does the number put food on your table?

TAIWO

What this question generally does is to create a perception about a person by the one who’s asking. Which in the end boils down to slashing down or inflating numbers. A friend once said when you ask a girl her body count and she tells you, multiply by 3. I’m wondering if the same applies for guys especially as some guys inflate numbers just for the cool factor it gives them with their friends.

So can sleeping dogs lie please?

TONY

I say stop fornicating. What will you use the body count to do? 1 is too much, please. Will you all zip up there? Will you die if you wait until marriage? If I hear body count again. Nonsense. LOL.

JUMOKE

Nope. Doesn’t matter. Own your body count with your chest.

SPENCER

Wan million, every inch of those six zeros (ah shit, this is one kid too? Dang!).
Well, many years ago, a girl I was about to date tearfully told me she wasn’t a virgin anymore. Maybe I was supposed to feel ‘aww-ish’ but I was doing all sorts of mental backflips and generally having a carnival. I wouldn’t know what’s too much because I really don’t care. In fact, I don’t even want to know. Who body count epp?

I’ll admit that it can hurt one’s ego (what’s that sef?) if the partner has been a ‘journeyman’ or woman as the case may be but we should also realise that most people have slept with someone at one point or the other.

We actively chase women who are in relationships because we like them. Or they might be out of one. What do you think they were doing, playing Halo? Nah. I’m realistic about stuff like this so it doesn’t worry me one bit.

HAUWA

Does it really matter? And this question, even though it sounds harmless is sexist. How many times has a man ever been shamefully judged or antagonised for how many girls he has slept with?

RACHAEL

Lol, what is body count? Only things that deserve to be counted in my books are money and orgasms. Next question.

ENIOLA

Yes, there’s a thing as too much body count. If you have the fear of God, you’ll know if your body count is too much!

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