THE SETUP

At one point or the other, human beings have to live through the disappointment of not quite being on the same page as someone we thought was on the same page with us. (The ones who have never experienced heartbreak are more reptilian than human.) Ergo heartbreak and a re-organisation of assumptions.

But how long should this “reorganisation” take? Is getting over heartbreak a conscious act of willpower or should we just assume that a heart that loves can heal its own break in time?

(Hint: According to UberFacts, exactly 1 year and 7 months. Or was that 17 months?)

THE FORMATION

Biodun

Biodun

Tony

Jumoke

Jumoke

Hauwa

Hauwa

Spencer

Spencer

Eniola

Eniola

BIODUN

Whatever we had, once we’re done, we’re done. Once a relationship packs up, I don’t think there should be a laid down rule regarding when to move on. We all deal with heartbreak differently, and some do so by looking for a quick rebound. If hooking up with another person the next hour makes you happy, by all means, go for it. Life is short and YOLO!

TONY

With heartbreaks, it’s hard to put a timeline on when it is expected for someone to move on. I am of the belief that people will heal and get over heartbreak in their own time. People should not be forced. However, heartbreak is no excuse to remain in that state forever. What is done is done. Life has to be lived.

JUMOKE

Heartbreaks are serious things (I hear) and should be allowed to run its course. People are different and we love differently. The intensity of the feelings involved and the story surrounding the break up also factor into how long it takes to heal and put the pieces of your heart back together.

LOL. Abegi!! I’m a proponent of the “cry and mope for a few days and shake yourself out of it” school. When your heart is broken, cry, eat a lot, drink alcohol (if that’s your thing), look at pictures and texts and then put it behind you. Wallowing will not help anything. So my verdict is 2 weeks. 2 weeks is (should be) enough to get over heartbreaks please.

HAUWA

Getting over heartbreak is definitely a conscious act of willpower. It’s not an it will heal by itself sort of thing, it’s yours, do what is good for it. You get over heartbreak when you want to and the earlier you do the better.

Yes, it’s hard but what’s worse is going around with emotional luggage like that. It’s unhealthy. At the end, when you’re finally over that person and you see how amazing you’re doing, you’ll ask yourself why it took you so damn long.

SPENCER

There’s no timetable for this. I once went through a nasty heartbreak on the eve of Valentine’s Day and it took me well over a year to even begin to think of getting back into a relationship. Sometimes the mental/emotional scars take way longer to heal even though we like to convince ourselves otherwise. It doesn’t matter if you get into a relationship almost immediately after a heartbreaking episode, the issues are still there to deal with.

So yes, time should be left to do its work but we also need to get real. Sometimes it’s short lived, on other occasions, it can take an eternity to get over someone you feel deeply about. It’s hard, fam. It might even take meeting someone so amazing to let go but in the end, the issues are for the affected person to deal with. Only you can really deal with your pain.

ENIOLA

I really cannot say. I do not know what heartbreak feels like. I was hurt yes & just like that, the feeling is gone. Maybe it’s willpower or the heart just healed itself, I really do not know or maybe we are all just pretenders. Can’t say.

We’d love to hear from you. Tell us what you think.

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